Aleksandr, my friend

 Aleksandr,  my friend

I am sitting outside in the evening sun

I can see the sun closing her lashes

Shyly and regrettably

As the embers in our grill

Slowly turn to cold ash

And all I think about

Is where we will scatter your ash

Because Aleks, I know you won’t come back

Yes, we clapped your back

And joked about drones and camouflage and ambushes

We hailed your courage but 

Really that was the beer

And some hashish and whatever else was in that cocktail.

If you looked closely

You would have seen the fear behind the laughter

The horror at the death raining through the picnic tent

Through the apartment window where grandma used to rock her chair.

You’ve walked off into the distance

Teeth clenched , fist clenched 

To fight the battle that has come

Uninvited to your home. 

The beer is now tasteless

And the Twitter feed has dried up

And we are afraid that the shells

Did not consider your sacrifice

Nor your hugs,

Aleksandr, my friend. 

(For all those killed fighting for  their country in Ukraine )